Nursing a Toddler

My daughter turned one on March 12th, 1998.  She's a big girl, she walks, talks (sometimes so only she can understand) eats solids, throws temper tantrums and nurses.  Nursing an older child is definitely different.  Not bad different, just different.  However, continuing to nurse her isn't the issue I thought it would be.  She became a toddler before my very eyes, so quickly that others were calling her a toddler while I still thought of her as an infant.  It was not until my girlfriend brought over her 10 week old that I realized my baby wasn't so much of a baby anymore.

But, in many ways she is still a baby.  She still cries when she's sleepy, or frustrated, or hurt.  She still wears diapers.  She still sleeps with her daddy and me.  And she still needs "na-na's". 

Kyler has a cow's milk allergy and an egg allergy and was not particularly interested in solids until she was about 10 months old.  She is still very picky about what solid food she will eat.   Mostly her solid intake is Cheerios, green beans, and spaghetti.  So breastmilk still contributes to the majority of her nourishment.

I really felt that one day around Kyler's first birthday, someone would suddenly say, "when are you going to wean her?".  No one has.  I was asked when she was about 6 months by a few family members, but I always told them I would break the family record for the oldest nursling (14 months) and that Kyler would self-wean.  I think now, people are just used to fact that Kyler nurses.  Even my friends who are very uncomfortable with toddler nursing, seem not to apply this aversion to Kyler and me.

Nursing a toddler is unlike nursing a baby in so many ways.  A toddler will not hesitate to stick her arm down your shirt in the line at the grocery store and smack her lips together to make a sucking sound.  Mine does this every time she's hungry, thirsty, or just in need of comfort.  I thought this sort of thing would embarrass me.  It doesn't. Instead I am proud to still be nursing and to be providing my daughter with a superior start in life.  I thought that by one year I would probably be uncomfortable nursing in public.  The opposite is true.  Kyler and I have had a year to get good at nursing and we are now adept enough to do it anywhere.  Usually with no one noticing.  If for some reason she is not in the mood to be discrete, I find I mind less because I am very comfortable with the role my breasts play.  Their exposure to passers-by doesn't bother me.

Kyler now frequently feeds nums to whatever she may be playing with.   How adorable it is to see her pick up a baby, put it to her breast and smack making a sucking sound.  Even cookies and shoes get to eat nums at her breast or mine.   She looks so proud to pat her baby, make a sucking sound, and nod her head up and down.  Her message seems to be...'the baby is happy, she is nursing'.  Her father and I just melt! 

Lori Thompson has a picture which she sells as a poster.  It is called Michelle and baby Phoebe and the caption reads:  "Passing on the spirit by which we nurture our children."  I think this every time I see my big girl nursing her shoe or baby or whatever else she has.  Nursing an older child is different, but in may ways it is better.  An older child interacts more with you while nursing and seeing her imitate nursing shows me that in her world there is no breast/bottle debate.   There are no varying points of view on how nurturing one form is over another.   It makes me proud that to her nursing is how babies get happy.  I say 'love the baby' and she pats the baby's back and gives her nums.

Today I was nursing Kyler at an outside mall near our home.  It was very bright and relatively warm outside and Kyler was holding my shirt up to shield the sun from her eyes.  An employee of the mall walked by sweeping the sidewalk, said 'hello ma'am", noticed I was nursing and smiled.  She then went about her business.  A couple walked by a moment later and Kyler was examining her num before putting it in her mouth.  The man smiled embarrassingly as they passed, I smiled back.  I was proud that today amongst all the little babies in strollers with bottles in their mouths, my not so little daughter showed passers-by what is normal in her world.